-Inspired from too many Tumblr posts. Disclaimer: A little on the mushy side but I like to expand my Horizons on what I write about, you never know who’s spirit could be slightly brushed by a few combinations of your 26 letters.

I think first and foremost every woman wants to feel appreciated.

We want to know that there’s someone out there that see’s us. But I suppose what needs to be realized is that this vision doesn’t come immediately, or suddenly—actually, who am I to say this when for all I know it can—but this vision will more so come gradually, with patience and with time. So I’m going to say something that you probably hear all the time, don’t want to hear, and can already predict. It is to stop searching for love. Put down your magnifying glass, hang up the running sneakers, and instead just relax, cool out.

Isn’t something so much truer sincere and genuine when it just comes to you. When it just appears, when realization dawns on you, isn’t that better?

Go out on dates, meet new people good people that mean you well. Make friendships and bonds. And don’t use this as a regime or a way to find love. Just let life happen and know not to force anything. Stop searching for a point in every interaction with every person you meet. Some people God sends your way just to pass by, and possibly give you wisdom acquired through mistakes.

I understand that you’re a wistful lover, yearning for someone to reaffirm what you see in yourself, and possibly even more. But this type of mentality will bring you nothing but a cycle of disappointment. So stop telling yourself disappointment is normal and essential if you keep coming across the same disappointment and learning the same lesson over and over. Take heed instead, and make a change.

So then I ask of you to consider this. They say when its real you know its real—I am speaking of the L word here. But consider that you actually don’t know at first and you are not sure, instead this reality that it is real dawns on you gradually and you are proven right. So that only then in hindsight you can look back and say to the longingly starry-eyed onlookers, “when it’s real you know its real”. In this present we are given, you can not know anything for sure and you can not predict the future, what you can do is look back and realize that what you actually did was think… and those thoughts with time became reality, they became confirmed. And of course there’s the possibility they are not confirmed, and what you thought was real. was not.

-Someone told me this post seemed redundant and common sense and at first I was taken aback, but then I thought, so what? Im not trying to make some amazing new point that no one has ever heard of. I simply want to enlighten and encourage any soul that I can in my way–which is through words. There’s beauty in simplicity, and sometimes a little redundancy is all you need.

So I usually go to church every Sunday and I often take notes on the word when it really speaks to me particularly in a way that my spirit is yearning for. However, I realized that I would go to church and leave feeling refreshed, glad that I got a good message, but that would be it. I’d still pray and read the scripture but that word from that Sunday wouldn’t become instilled in me as a constant daily reminder. But today was different, today it seemed as though questions were being answered, and that a reminder that my soul was longing for had been delivered. The message was that I am not just here because my parents fell in love and had sex and made babies and I by chance happened to pop out. Instead, I [you and we] am here for a purpose and things will be different because I set foot on this earth, and people will look at me and say, “God was certainly among us through that individual”.
I realize that my purpose is to save lives, I’m pre-ordaining this onto my life and believing that God will guide me through it. I’m here to heal the sick and contribute to life changing research [future MD] so ask yourself, why am I here? Feel your heart beating and recognize that fact is purpose. And as you do this remember not to let anybody put out your vision and dim your light, and I mean anybody. I believe that is why the bible tells us to protect our heart, which is what we must follow, because indeed everything we do flows from it.
A particular verse presented to me today, Romans 8:18, goes on to state:
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us… 20 For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage… we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
Every bit of potential that you need to make the changes you need to make has been assigned to you. You came pre packaged with this potential. You need to teach yourself to be intuitive to whats already on the inside. The wrong mentality of religiousity and tradition, following regime, will cause you to look outside and to look for who to place blame on. Believe that the Christ in you is the hope of glory. Be aware of He that is in you, for He is greater than the world. We are His workmanship, God created us beforehand, so all you need to do is walk in who you already are, and fill those shoes.
When a seed is planted in the ground in order for it to come up it must fight through the soil. You are that seed, and you should leave no room for discouragement, instead let it build your character and persevere through the trials and tribulations life throws your way. And get stronger, and dominate your environment.
Your vision of the future is all you have, so go to church because the eyes of your understanding are being opened and you are no longer a victim of this earth. Don’t just go as a ritual or for rejuvenation. Open your eyes in order to be positioned to the seed of change. God is waiting on you and for your eyes to open so you can understand who you are and the changes you need to make. Coming to church shouldn’t be a motion that you take part in to feel refreshed for that Sunday or for the next few days. It should be a call to action. To make decisions to make changes to realize what you are called on this earth to do. The word of God is not solely encouragement to keep you sane. So consider the belief that you determine your own path, and then stop asking of Him, “God when are you gonna change stuff” “God please let me stop drinking arsenic because I know its poison and its bad for me” “Why is God allowing this to happen?” “Why is there poverty?” Consider instead that He is not. That maybe this is our doing. He put us here on this earth. As Mathew 16 says “I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will bed bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will bee loosed in heaven.” You have the keys on earth. Stop blaming everything on Him. Lazy religion is the type that refuses to take blame but instead asks God why.
**Inspired by my Pastor**

“Usually, when we think of power, we think of external power. And we think of powerful people as those who have made it in the world. A powerful woman isn’t necessarily someone who has money, but we think of her as someone with a boldness or a spark that makes her manifest in a dramatic way. When we think of a powerful man, we think of his ability to manifest abundance, usually money, in the world. Most people say that a powerful woman does best with a powerful man, that she needs someone who understands the bigness of her situation, a man who can meet her at the same or even greater level of power in the world. Now this is true, if power is defined as material abundance. A woman often faces cultural prejudice when she makes more money than a man, as does he. A woman who defines power by worldly standards can rarely feel totally relaxed in the arms of a man who doesn’t have it. If power is seen as an internal matter, then the situation changes drastically. Internal power has less to do with money and worldly position, and more to do than with emotional expansiveness, spirituality and conscious living… I used to think I needed a powerful man, someone who could protect me from the harshness and evils of the world. What I have come to realize is that…the powerful man I was looking for would be foremost, someone who supported me in keeping myself on track spiritually, and in so maintaining clarity within myself, that life would present fewer problems. When it did get rough, he would help me forgive. I no longer wanted somebody who would say to me, “Don’t worry honey, if they’re mean to you I’ll beat them up or buy them out.” Instead, I want someone who prays and meditates with me regularly so that fewer monsters from the outer world disturb me, and who when they do, helps me look within my own consciousness for answers, instead of looking to false power to combat false power. There’s a big difference between a gentle man and a weak man. Weak men make us nervous. Gentle men make us calm.”

Guess the simplest way to put it is time..
With time I’ve realized none of this is real .
You grow up learn a bunch of bullshit & have to reteach yourself truth .
With time you begin to drift away, in your own little bubble …
People aren’t as interesting anymore, mindsets differ and cause relationships to no longer exist .
With time I realized just because a person has the same material possessions that you do doesn’t mean they’re rich … Hell I’m not rich , looking wealthy is appealing , but it too is all an illusion .
With time you realize some men aren’t interested in you . They’re more interested in how others will view them if they have you on their arm.
With time… Wearing heels seem like the silliest thing to do… Everyone knows you’re uncomfortable , especially you .
With time knowing everything about a celebrity yet nothing about your own culture is similar to swallowing poison slowly .. Killing yourself ..
With time you see that people do everything they see on TV. Television Programs literally program the human mind .
With time you realize you can’t expect people to listen to what you have to say and thoroughly respect your mind when you have your boobs out all the time .
With time you learn to act from your heart, your mind wants to be your master … Don’t let it all the time .
With time you come to grips with the fact that the people that care about how you feel the most usually are the ones you end up taking for granted .
With time life gets easier , and harder at the same damn time .
With time you see all your goals get achieved then realized there’s still so much work to do on the inside because all the outside accomplishments still left you with a void.
With time you love less .
With time you love more.
With time , time goes by faster …
With time the past seems like a dream, it happened but it no longer affects you .
With time I still find myself finding myself, and losing myself .
With time I’m still learning to love and appreciate all God has given and not given me .
With time , I now see that average is beautiful.
With time I see that what is, is what shall be .

Today we live in a technological society where social media is generally ubiquitous and controls a great deal of our beliefs. Not only are we bits and pieces of the people we interact with or the books we read but we are also fragments of ideas or viewpoints that we have come across on social media outlets. Rarely are our opinions completely original, instead they are often borrowed and morphed into our own. I then often find myself asking if people take the time to ponder these beliefs that they allow into their precious and delicate minds. I believe W. K. Clifford was justified in his assertion that “it is wrong always, everywhere, and for anyone, to believe anything upon insufficient evidence” and that people should essentially question everything. Doubt is something that one should welcome rather than fear because doubt in and of itself creates stronger and more solidified beliefs that are grounded on justifiable evidence. When a man holds a certain opinion and has doubts that prey upon his mind, and goes on to combat these doubts with impregnable assertions he has created a stronger opinion. However, the man that holds an opinion tightly locked up in his mind with no room for skepticism is a man that potentially harbors a weak opinion and puts himself in danger. Socrates said it best when he stated, “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” A truly educated man is able to query his beliefs not only for peace of mind but also as a moral duty. Things such as faith fall into another realm.

In aspects of humans being social beings and working together for the greater good we must engage in the task of filtering the posterity that becomes the world we live in. We do this by challenging the way we think and dissecting traditional views that have been passed down for generations.

“But forasmuch as no belief ever held by one man, however seemingly trivial the belief, and however obscure the believer, is ever actually insignificant or without its effect on the fate of mankind, we have no choice but to extend our judgment to all cases of belief whatever. Belief, that sacred faculty which prompts the decisions of our will, and knits into harmonious working all the compacted energies of our being, is ours not for ourselves, but for humanity.” (52)

Doing what we think is moral or right isn’t enough and the end does not always justify the means. We can often times find ourselves to be misguided with our intentions when the action carried out is deemed as wrong but the intentions are good. The intention of an action does not matter because at the end of the day the action will always be right or wrong and the deed will have already been done. If the actions committed were judged as right and ended up being favorable, yet the beliefs behind these actions were ones untouched by doubt or sound evidence propping up said belief then the right action is discredited.

This is where the question of defining what is right and what is wrong comes in to play. As Clifford states, the question of right or wrong has to do simply with the origin of the belief and how it was obtained—on solid grounds backed with evidence or unstable grounds filled with unanswered doubts.  Believing fervently in something is not enough to sustain ones actions. I shall use the relationship of mother and child as an example: If a mother believes in her heart that she is raising a healthy son that is mentally stable, yet her son has been exhibiting traits of psychopathy and she then goes to send him off to a college campus amidst thousands of people without getting him checked by a psychiatrist out of fear and the misguided truth that her son is fine, then she is wrong. The mother had no wicked intentions to put people in harms way. She was simply a mother blinded by her love for her son and in denial of his condition. Nevertheless, her son could go off to the campus and commit numerous acts of homicide out of an undiagnosed and untreated mental illness. Or the son could go off to college and not harm anyone. Either way the mother is wrong for stifling her doubts rather than inquiring of sound proof to support her belief that her son is fine.

Another question that may arise is that of what makes someone credible to ask a question and make inquiries on certain beliefs? If you’re going to question something shouldn’t you have a background that provides you with the wisdom to answer it? The answer is in the question itself; any man that is capable of asking a question is capable of answering it through garnered proof to attain as to whether the initial thought is sustained or changed.

What are your beliefs if you question everything? This is a question that is in many ways applicable to the lot that refuse to question their beliefs out of the feeling of knowledge and power they get from acquiring beliefs on unstable grounds. A man is born unto this earth with no beliefs, however through social contact and the development of his cognition he learns to think for himself [or not] and acquire information. Whether it comes from social media, culture, family, or religion—opinions, biases, and ideals are formed. In order to keep these ideals as “truths that have been established by long experience and waiting toil, and which have stood in the fierce light of free and fearless questioning” (52) we must welcome questions and disapproving statements.

Just as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another through the wisdom and knowledge that he passes on to his posterity and essentially humanity. The importance of thinking for oneself and questioning everything cannot be exaggerated enough. The advice that comes your way, or the seemingly trivial thoughts that occur in your head should be able to withstand second thoughts and criticism. In todays society with all the social media outlets we have its easy to be swayed one way or another without really taking the time to question the beliefs we are letting into our minds and putting into action.  As W. K. Clifford said,

“No real belief, however trifling and fragmentary it may seem, is ever truly insignificant; it prepares us to receive more of its like, confirms those which resembled it before, and weakens others; and so gradually it lays a stealthy train in our thoughts, which may someday explode into overt action and leave its stamp upon our character forever”

As to the obvious question in opposition, which is what happens when doubt is not entertained, the answer is simple– man ends up poisoning the mind of people. A perfect often clichéd example is Adolf Hitler. I could have easily made up an example but I chose to use this one because of the historical significance that it weighs down upon society today. This example is perfect in every way of showing how one man with misguided judgment can go on to poison the minds of others resulting in the mass genocide. If you entertain and harbor false or unproven beliefs what else are you capable of? You’re unwittingly harming society It’s the idea of stifling doubts that ruins mans credibility and makes him unfit to believe.

How are we today, Sister?
-I am ugly, but I am here.

“There is a Haitian saying which might upset the aesthetic images of most women. Nou led, Nou la, it says. We are ugly, but we are here. Like the modesty that is somewhat common in Haitian culture, this saying makes a deeper claim for poor Haitian women than maintaining beauty, be it skin deep or otherwise. For most of us, what is worth celebrating is the fact that we are here, that we against all the odds exist. To the women who might greet each other with this saying when they meet along the countryside, the very essence of life lies in survival. It is always worth reminding our sisters that we have lived yet another day to answer the roll call of an often painful and very difficult life. It is in this spirit that to this day a woman remembers to name her child Anacaona, a name which resonates both the splendor and agony of a past that haunts so many women.

When they were enslaved, our foremothers believed that when they died their spirits would return to Africa, most specifically to a peaceful land we call Guinin, where gods and goddesses live. The women who came before me were women who spoke half of one language and half another. They spoke the French and Spanish of their captors mixed in with their own African language. These women seemed to be speaking in tongue when they prayed to their old gods, the ancient African spirits. Even though they were afraid that their old deities would no longer understand them, they invented a new language our Creole patois with which to describe their new surroundings, a language from which colorful phrases blossomed to fit the desperate circumstances. When these women greeted each other, they found themselves speaking in codes.

How are we today, Sister?
-I am ugly, but I am here.

My grandmother believed that if a life is lost, then another one springs up replanted somewhere else, the next life even stronger than the last. She believed that no one really dies as long as someone remembers, someone who will acknowledge that this person had in spite of everything been here. We are part of an endless circle, the daughters of Anacaona. We have stumbled, but have not fallen. We are ill-favored, but we still endure. Every once in a while, we must scream this as far as the wind can carry our voices: We are ugly, but we are here! And here to stay.”

— WE ARE UGLY, BUT WE ARE HERE, Edwidge Danticat from The Caribbean Writer, Volume 10 (1996)